Group Cheers on Boehner and Brooks’ Mission To Protect Millionaires At The Expense Of Middle Class
Rochester, N.Y. -- On Saturday, Millionaires for Maggie, an advocacy group of the wealthy and well-connected dedicated to protecting millionaires at the expense of the middle class, gathered to celebrate Speaker John Boehner’s fundraiser for Republican County Executive Maggie Brooks. Boehner, fresh off of a vote to extend the Bush tax cuts for millionaires and billionaires, is raising cash for Brooks, who has pledged to support GOP plans to gut Medicare and Social Security to pay for another tax cut for the top 1%.
“After doling out millions in favors and contracts for me and my friends and paying for it by raising property taxes on middle-class Monroe County families, I think Maggie will fit in just fine with the Republicans in Congress!” said Ima Wonpersenter, a corporate lobbyist who was given a high-salary job as the head of one of Maggie’s Local Development Corporations after donating to Maggie’s campaign.
“Haven’t the wealthy sacrificed enough?” said Alla Yermuny, a wealthy socialite. “My neighbor had to sell his 3rd summer home – it’s really bad out there for us. We need someone like Maggie Brooks in Congress who understands that the way to fix the economy is to give the rich everything they want and hope it works out.”
The group was also very critical of Democratic plans to cut taxes for the middle class and invest money in jobs, health care and education.
“You know this class warfare business is really starting to get to me – the middle class isn’t supposed to fight back!” said hedge-fund manager I. Payne Otacksis. “I’m so happy that real patriots like John Boehner are down in Washington fighting for my right to shield my tax liabilities in offshore accounts, and we’re so excited for Maggie Brooks to join him!”
The group donned their natural attire: monocles, bowler hats and bow-ties for the men, flapper dresses, feather boas, and furs for the ladies. Some carried signs with slogans like “Haven’t The Wealthy Sacrificed Enough?” and “Corporate Welfare We Can All Believe In.”
Not all were up to code, however: one supporter claimed he saw big-time lobbyist and Maggie Brooks bundler Bruce Fennie wearing a T-shirt that read: “I Bundled Thousands In Cash For Maggie’s Congressional Campaign, And All I Got Was A Lousy $3.6 Million In Taxpayer-Funded Lobbying Contracts.”